Helped, Heard, Hugged
I'm a fixer.
It sounds like a good, proactive trait, initially. But certain circumstances have proved that always being ready to roll up my sleeves and make things right isn't always the best course of action.
When someone confides in me to unload something that's been troubling them, my first instinct has been along the lines of "Ok, how do we fix this (now)?"
I've come to learn that not all of them necessarily want to take any immediate action. Sometimes, they just want to be acknowledged. To be heard. To simply have a shoulder to steady themselves.
In more dire situations, say those that involve grief or loss, all they needed was to be consoled. To be comforted. In those moments, they're not looking for words of wisdom. None are needed. A hug can say everything that needs to be said.
We are all wired differently when it comes to reacting to life's many curve balls. Practicing empathy can help open us up to becoming more sensitive to what others need.
Be present instead of prepared with advice when someone comes to you. You might instinctively assume they need help or a nudge to action.
Listen first and listen fully. Allow them to unload freely and sink into the comfort of your full attention. Only then can you see whether they want to be helped, heard, or simply hugged.
Marge
"A hug is the perfect medicine for a sad soul."
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